I'm sitting here, watching X-Men cartoons with Linc (while hoping he falls asleep) and feeling pretty sleepy at the moment myself. I need to clean house in a major way, but I'm low on energy today. Jeff says he'll come home early enough to cook dinner tonight. Excellent. Yesterday I was all dressed up and having a working lunch; one of my authors was in town and it was great to sit down with her, along with our director of book publishing and the marketing rep for her book and a few others, and talk about her book and all that. That sort of thing is so fun for me, but not quite so easy when I'm 8 months pregnant and really struggled to put my shoes on that morning. Also, my bangs have grown out to that awkward stage--not long enough to pull back and not short enough so that I can actually see. I'm all Chrissie-Hynde-from-the-Pretenders at the moment. Not the coolest look for me. But there's not much I can do until they grow out a little more.
So here I am.
In the final stretch of this pregnancy.
Thankfully, Jeff and Lincoln are on the mend from their colds. This means Jeff is allowed back into our bedroom. I'd quarantined him to reduce my chance of getting sick. (Pregnant. Gotta do what you must.) But I'm very thankful the guys are feeling better (not 100 percent yet, but much better than they were). Lincoln has been--along with driving me crazy lately--saying some super cute things. He keeps telling me that he wants to "keep me." He'll say, "Mommy, I love you. I'm going to keep you." :) Presh. I immediately promise him that I'm his forever.
I was thinking about how that kind of love for our kids comes so automatically. Yes, I'll love you forever. Yes, I'll keep you. Yes, you're mine. Yes, I'm yours. You can make me crazy and angry and exhausted--but I'm yours and you're mine.
It takes more intentionality with our spouse, right?
It takes more work, that's for sure.
To live out that reality that no matter what, I'll be yours and I'll keep you as mine. Jeff and I will celebrate our 12-year wedding anniversary in about a week and a half. And we've been together going on 16 years, I think (Jeff's better at remembering dates!).
Do you ever look at couples who are much farther down the road than you are in their marriage, and wonder how much they really love each other? Do they still miss each other throughout the day? Do they still think about each other when apart? Do their hearts still beat together as one? Do they still feel that love that says, "I'm yours and you're mine"?
It occurred to me this week that I haven't been so intentional lately with speaking affirmation to Jeff. I'm tired. He's tired. The kids run us ragged. By the end of the night, we just want to be quiet and watch TV or play on our phones or check email or whatever. And really, that's okay. Life with kids is loud, we need quiet when we can get it. But when we're intentional about affirming each other, I think we're so much more in tune with each other. We both feel loved. We feel connected. We're putting in the effort.
It makes a difference. I started watching my words this week, taking more time to talk to Jeff, to encourage him. It's crazy how it changes the whole dynamic of our home. How I talk to him affects how he talks to me, and it crosses over into how we treat each other.
Even after 12 years of marriage, he needs me to tell him that "I'll be yours." He needs me to tell him, "I want to keep you."
I need those same things.
We all need to feel loved. It usually starts with us, and how well we love the people in our lives.
(Next to me, Linc has started singing. Sadly, I'm not sure we're getting a nap today.)
Love well, loveys. Speak life to the people around you. It makes a difference.