The Mom Diaries

I became a mother on August 15, 2008.


I became Mom x2 on August 28, 2011.


Sometimes it's still hard for me to believe I'm a mom. Just like it's hard for me to believe it's been almost a decade since I graduated from college . . . and more than nine years since I got married. Life before all that feels even more distant, like a haze. Sometimes life before August 15, 2008 seems kind of hazy, too. Because having Ashtyn catapulted me and Jeff to this whole new world called parenting--and there is no looking back once you dive into parenthood.

But I think people can react really different to parenting. We all sort of become immersed into it. But doesn't it seem like some people are more immersed than others? That's okay and perfectly normal, of course, since we're all unique individuals. Every woman and every mother is different. Some women work outside the home all day and are able to balance working life and motherhood. Some moms stay home and center their life around their home and family. Some moms find themselves without a partner and have to be both mom and dad and everything else.

You know that TIME magazine cover released this week? Well, I'm not really going to get into that, but I will say that it reminded me of how differently women parent. And how one thing to a mom can seem of paramount importance, and to another mom, not a big deal. That cover highlights breastfeeding (boy, does it ever). For me, breastfeeding didn't really work out. And honestly, the fact that it didn't work for me did not break my heart. We moved on to plan B and that was that. I was and am so in love with my kids. And I feel so incredibly bonded to both of them, that all that drama of should I/shouldn't I? was not even an issue. Part of this came from my family. The women in my family are awesome. There are so many strong, independent, capable women in my family. They're supportive. And they are all examples of different, loving ways to parent.

I wish all women could be that for each other. Pictures of strength and capability to our daughters. Examples of what it means to hold things together in our families. That person that people run to because they know you'll help, will never judge, you'll pray, love--whatever. We can never be all these things, all the time. But we can have our moments. That's important to me. I know I can't be perfect for Ashtyn and Lincoln. But I can do my best, forgive myself and move forward when I do something wrong, and be what I was always meant to be--their mother. They are a gift, the role of motherhood is a gift. Whenever people ask me for a bio, or to come up with a quick summary of who I am, I've noticed that I almost always start by describing myself as a mother. That's not the end of who I am. It's followed by lots of things: wife, sister, daughter, writer, editor, friend, etc. I never want to forget the rest of my list because those are important roles too. But on my list, motherhood obviously takes precedence. It's the first role in my heart. Not the only, but always the first.

That title on the magazine cover read: Are You Mom Enough? It's kind of a loaded question, you know. I guess the truth is that sometimes I feel like I am. Sometimes I feel like I'm not. But I'm the best they've got, and they love me and I love them. And it's enough.


Today is Mother's Day. I woke up to flowers and cards and hugs and kisses and blueberry muffins. I so love being Ashtyn and Lincoln's mother. My kids are amazing. And on this special day to recognize moms, I want to say to my own sweet, strong, funny, capable mother, Blanca Vela, I love you more than I can say. Thank you for being such a great mom. And to my little darlings, Ash & Linc, Mommy loves you to the moon and back.

5 comments

  1. :) This made me smile...it's so true. And you are 'Mom Enough'. I woke up this morning to all 3 of mine counting outside my room and then running in screaming 'happy mother's day!'...then I got jumped on...lol I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything. Happy Mother's Day Brandy! xox

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  2. Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  3. happy mothers day to an awesome momma!
    Love,
    Nancy

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  4. Happy Mother's Day! I love that both your babies are August babies. My bday is August 11! :)

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  5. Happy Mothers Day! Beautiful babies (: I hope you had a great day!

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