Do you ever have those mornings where you open your eyes and just don't feel like there's enough inside you to get you going? (They usually follow a night of unrest, but they can happen just about any time.) Anyway, I just wasn't feeling it. It was one of those days where you mix one part tired and four parts emotional and then shake it all together. When you're feeling hazy emotionally and off your game physically, it's a recipe for rough. That's where I found myself. I just kept dropping things, stepping on things, being hit in the shin by Lincoln, feeling guilty about snacking, etc. Once I made it through the morning and put Linc down for a nap in the afternoon, I started to feel a little less down. We'd planned all week on going out for dinner Friday. Since waiting at a restaurant with kids is something to be avoided at all costs, we went early and were seated immediately. Thank goodness. But I was still feeling really out of it. For example, I dropped a gift card and my debit card in a plate of marinara sauce. I really did.
Thankfully, we were able to wrap things up and get out of there right as the kids' noise level began to elevate. I picked up a pecan pie on the way home for dessert. When the kids finally went to bed, I was ready to just chill out in my room and have some quiet time. It's those moments when you so need a peaceful, relaxed atmosphere that you are even more annoyed at yourself for not having put away laundry for days. I really just wanted a clean, serene room. But instead I have a messy space. And while it's my fault (and the Jeffster), the truth is that staying on top of all that all the time is just unrealistic. So I plopped down on the floor to sort laundry in desperate need of a clean, happy place. That sounds easy, but the truth is that looking at the pile of laundry made me want to dissolve into tears.
You know those moments, right? Everything suddenly compounds on you. The fact that your yoga pants are feeling tighter than usual just makes you feel worse. The fact that you lost your temper with your husband and kids makes you feel horrible. All you needed was a super hot shower but you only got a lukewarm one. You want a haven of serenity, but you've got a kitchen with dirty dishes and a bed with laundry all over it.
Sometimes when I get into a rut like the one I tripped into yesterday, crossing something off my non-essential list helps me. I woke up today deciding that if I had a red front door, this would give me the boost I need. You know what's good about having a non-essential list? They're doable. And they're great for husbands who feel at a loss as to how to help when Mommy's really down. When Jeff said, "What can I do?" I had a real answer.
"Paint the front door red."
What's on your non-essential list?
Posted by Brandy Bruce at October 27, 2012