I've Fallen Off the Wagon
Loveys, in case you didn't know, I didn't blog yesterday. And I'm supposed to be on the 31 Days of Blogging kick. Looks like I will not have a perfect score in this endeavor. What was I doing of such importance yesterday? Cleaning house in preparation for the hubby to come home. Jeff and Linc were in Louisiana all weekend and I wanted the house to be clean (at least for the first two minutes after they got home) when they got back. So I swept and mopped and vaccuumed and cleaned bathrooms and wiped mirrors and washed sheets. Then they came home with luggage and lots of stuff and that was that. Still, at least Jeff noticed how clean the house was. I always like for him to straighten up the house if I've been gone and am arriving home. There's just something depressing to me about being away and then coming home to a messy, dirty house. Anyway, so I cleaned most of yesterday and then had to drive quite a ways to pick up the Jeffster and the Lincster. I was sort of hoping Linc would cry with happiness when he saw me, but that didn't happen. Poor kiddo has a bad cold and he was exhausted and just sort of looking at me like "Take me to my bed." I'm very glad to have "our boys" (as Ash calls them) back home.
So I was too tired to blog after all that.
Ash and I survived our Mommy/Daughter weekend and truly it was great. I love spending time with her, and getting her all to myself was lots of fun. We went to the American Girl doll shop (where she went nuts), we went out for cheeseburgers, we went to her first movie at the movie theater, we went to church, we rented DVDs at the library, and we had a playdate with some friends. So our weekend was really nice (even though I had dark circles under my eyes because I do not sleep well when Jeff's gone).
I was thinking of how funny it is that as soon as Jeff is gone, I do things I don't normally do. Once he was on his way to Virginia and Ash was at daycare, I went shopping. By myself. Total bliss. Shopping for me is usually trying to rush through Walmart before the kids have meltdowns or speeding through Kohls in a timespan of fifteen minutes in between work and home. Just shopping for myself and not being in a rush is really a luxury that I don't have often. And that's okay. But it was super nice to get that luxury over the weekend. I rented movies at the library that I know Jeff doesn't care about seeing (like New Year's Eve). I bought pizza that I've wanted to try but that I know he wouldn't like. I bought Oreos (which aren't Jeff's favorite) and ate almost the entire bag (with milk). I made enchiladas, which are a lot of work but I wanted them so I made a small pan for myself (Ash doesn't like them. Shocker, I know).
I was wondering why I don't do those things more often. Carve out time for myself, cook just what I want, buy just what I want, watch just what I want--and in truth, the things I do on a normal basis are things that I want to do . . . so why does it look different when Jeff's gone? I guess I'm normally thinking from a different perspective: What do we want for dinner? What movie do we want to watch on Friday night? What cookies would we like?
That's what I signed up for and I like thinking that way. To me, having someone to go through life with is a huge blessing. I don't want it to be just about me. I believe in couplehood. I also know that when I'm out of town, ESPN is on way more than it is when I'm home. Movies like Rocky and Field of Dreams (which, for some reason, are played on TV 24 hours a day) are not passed up. (I try to channel surf as quickly as possible when I see those titles). Cereal is eaten out of mixing bowls. Homemade Vanilla bluebell ice cream is most definitely in the freezer.
I think we all need a break sometimes and a little "me" time rather than constant "we" time. But I also think it might be a good idea to speak up instead of waiting once a year for this kind of weekend. We should merge these things more often. You know, this is your Friday night so you choose what we eat and what we watch. This is my Friday night so it's ladies choice. After having time to myself over the weekend, I felt refreshed. I know I need that more than once a year. Me time, we time, all of the above time--it's a good thing.
Posted by Brandy Bruce at October 16, 2012