Instant. Discouragement. Like the deflating of a balloon. All that optimism didn't pay off. All that hard work didn't pay off. The scale told you the hard truth.
I had that feeling this week (which resulted in a short time of despair involving peanut butter cookies). I've been giving myself inward pep talks all day to counteract the despair. (I confess it hasn't gone so well up to this point.)
Sometimes things just don't go the way you want them to. The other side of that is that sometimes they do. Jeff came home discouraged yesterday after losing a client. I tried to encourage him (this involved me offering him peanut butter cookies). But I understand how he feels. Some days are low days. I told him we have to focus on the positive. And truthfully, there's a lot of positive to focus on once I start thinking about it. But once you hit that low point, it can be hard to pull yourself back up. For me, I usually need until the next day. You know, eat the cookies and then start fresh the next morning.
We've had what feels like a very long winter here in Colorado. There've been snippets and teasings of spring, only to be followed by snow days. I've always loved the changing of the seasons. I feel like it's one of God's very best ideas. Seriously, I'm someone who likes change, so I need that time of cool autum air, with pumpkin patches and bowls of beef stew and gold leaves flying everywhere. I need a few cold months with apple cider, Christmas shopping, white lights in trees, and Amy Grant singing Christmas carols. I need spring--that time of rejuvenation, of thawing out, of seeing things come alive again. And I need summer: green trees, birds singing, warm temperatures, and sandals.
Confession: I am so desperate for spring that I have fake flowers planted in my backyard.
What can I say? I need some color in my life!
I love winter. I do. I love snow. But there comes a point where I want spring. It's the way it's supposed to work. I think a too-long winter throws me off. Today we're finally having warmer weather again and I can just feel myself responding well to it.
Yes, the scale was mean to me. Yes, I'm frustated that my hair was frizzy today and my skin is extremely far from glowing. Yes, all those feelings may have contributed to my eating a chocolate bar today.
But it feels like springtime outside! It's Friday! I went to a titling meeting today where we ended up choosing one of my ideas for title and sub-title! I picked up my wedding ring from the jeweler today and it looks extra sparkly! My little Ashtyn looks absolutely beautiful today and I feel filled with happiness that she's mine! (Lincoln is asleep so I haven't seen him since I got home from work but I already know he's adorable too.) Jeff and I have a date tomorrow night! We've got Bible study Sunday night with our new friends.
So I'm going to shake off the discouragement. I want to stand in the sun. It won't be long before we head to Texas. That means China Delight. Margaritas. Warm weather. Family. Friends.
Have you ever seen the movie Hook? When Peter and his wife, Moira, and their kids go back to England for Christmas, Moira just gets giddy when they arrive. Peter asks her what's gotten into her and she's just beside herself saying, "This house has gotten into me! We were children here!" That's how I feel when I'm back in Texas. I'm saying, This humidity has gotten into me! It's where I came from! :)
I'm this girl who grew up in Conroe, eating blizzards at Dairy Queen down on Frazier, hanging out at the mall in the Woodlands, driving with the music turned all the way up with Michelle, going to school with boys who wore cowboy boots, heading to Calvary Baptist Church practically every day of the week in our family's minivan, singing Blessed Assurance on Sunday morning.
You know what, since we started down this reminiscing road, let's go all the way, shall we? I missed Throwback Thursday, we'll just do a Throwback Friday. I'll give you a glimpse of that young Texas girl! :) (If you're asking yourself whether I'm wearing braces, the answer is yes. These were my senior pictures. NOT to be mistaken with glamour shots, people.)
How's your spring going, lovey? Has winter been lingering for you? For us in Colorado, the answer is yes. But winter can be a state of mind, too. It can be a feeling we need to shake off. Maybe you need to stand in the sun, too, literally or emotionally or both. Every now and then I need to get back in touch with that Texas girl driving down Teas Nursery Road, singing out loud. So many years and experiences separate me from her--but she's still in there.
You know, I think I needed this walk down memory lane today. I'm smiling. And warm weather is in my future.