Living the Dream
It's 7:48. I need to leave for work in about fifteen minutes. Jeff and the kids just went out the door. I woke up early this morning. By early, I mean about 5:45. But Jeff and I went to bed early last night, which we've been trying to do more of because life is tiring, so I woke refreshed. I even had time to read a few chapters from Shauna Neiquist's book Bittersweet, which is amazing. Not even kidding. She's one of my favorite writers because I feel like I know her just from reading her books. I love her thoughts on food and faith (two of my fave subjects). I love her transparency about life.
It's a good morning. Linc ran back from the front porch for one more kiss before leaving. Obviously, that melts this mom's heart. I'm thinking of all I need to do today, which isn't so much really. Work. pool time with the kids. Cook dinner. Clean up. The usual.
So this weekend we went to some new friends' home for dinner. We'd never been there before and we were hanging out together outside, getting to know each other a little bit. We've had a lot of rain lately and I think it's stirred up mosquitoes because Colorado is usually not very buggy. Compared to Texas anyway! While we're sitting there talking, I got a mosquito bite. Understand that if there is one mosquito in a fifty-mile radius, he will find me and take my blood. Growing up in Texas, this was tragic. My dad is the same way. We used to keep a can of Off repellent right by the front door so you could just douse yourself on your way out. My mosquito bites swell up like nickels and itch to death. So I was a little worried that I might be about to be bitten like crazy. We went inside to get things ready for dinner and the wife tells me that we can eat inside or outside, wherever we want. I'm already itching my arm so I mention I got a mosquito bite so maybe inside would be best, since she said either was fine. She cocks her head to the side and says, "You're kind of delicate, aren't you?"
Oh. Um. I don't know.
She finds me insect repellent and we eat outside.
This morning, as we're getting ready for work, I say to Jeff, "I'm trying to decide if I'm delicate. What do you think?" He laughs all the way back to the bedroom.
I've been thinking it over. I guess I am in some ways. In the way she was thinking. While we've been doing some trails and hikes this summer, I'm not usually that outdoorsy, so I have to be intentional about it. But I do love seeing the beauty of nature. I've never been very good at sports. My coordination level is about nil. I did a lot of sitting on the bench.
But then again. I'm usually up from before seven every morning, feeding kids, dressing kids, getting myself off to work. Together, Jeff and I run this household and raise our kids. I love being a book editor and an author. My days are filled with life and family and friends. It's a busy life. It's a good one too.
I don't like mosquito bites.
I think sometimes we just have to accept who we are (not the bad parts, those we need to change, but the regular parts, the not-being-that-outdoorsy parts). I'm okay with me. I'm okay that I'm not very arts-and-craftsy. I'm okay that I don't spend a whole lot of time planning meals for my family, we're a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants kind of family when it comes to the menu. I'm okay that I don't like to spend a ton of time shopping for stuff. I like to go into a store, buy something and be done with it. I'm okay that I want my house to be clean, but I'm not going to kill myself making it spic-and-span. I'm okay that we like to watch TV and cartoons and eat pizza and ice cream on Friday nights.
Honestly, I love my life. I love my family so much. I love my work. I love writing. I love that before Jeff left this morning, he hugged me and said, "I'm really lucky to have you." I love that Linc ran back for second kisses. I've got people, loveys. That's what matters to me. I don't think God wants me to be any other woman than who I am. I think he understands me on a level no one else ever will. I think he's got patience and unconditional love for me every day of my life, and I'll take it gratefully, because I need those things so much.
I just read a chapter in Bittersweet about the things the author can't do. In other words, making a list of things that we're just not up for, and being okay with that list. How beautiful and freeing. God made us unique. Our personalities are different. Our interests are different. But if we're living the story God's given us, we're living the dream. We're alive and present and comfortable with who we are and what we're doing because we're in the right place.
Take a deep breath and live free today. Because you're loved. Every minute of every day. And who you are is enough.
Posted by Brandy Bruce at July 15, 2014