Not Going to Happen and the In Between Season

So when I first got pregnant this time around, I had all these lofty goals of walking every day, sticking to ONLY 300 extra calories per day, and so on.

Then I got hungry.

Like on day two. And all those dreams and aspirations floated out the window and were replaced with snacks.

Then I got tired.

And I don't feel like walking. I want to sleep.

This is not going to be a skinny pregnancy, loveys. It's just not. There's no going back at this point. People who know me, don't be shocked. Just roll with it.

I was thinking today of my to-do list. All the things I need to do this fall (not to mention this week!). And I was thinking that being pregnant sort of puts you in this "in between" spot. You're growing a baby and you know that in a few months, things will change and there will be a new member of the family and that's a huge deal. But for now, you're growing the baby and going on with life as usual.

When the baby comes, things stop for me. At least, that's how it's felt before. Work stops, busyness of life stops. I'm home in my pjs, living on very little sleep and completely enthralled by this new tiny person who has taken over my heart and my life. Those are special times. Tiring, of course, but very special.

Those days are coming, but not yet.

Right now I'm thinking of work projects I have to do. Book projects I'm hopeful about. The fact that Jeff's back is hurting and he needs to go back to the doctor this week and I'm worried about it. The fact that the garage needs to be slightly cleaned out by winter so I can park my car in there. Ashtyn needs to get enrolled in gymnastics (and practice this crazy math homework). Lincoln needs a bath . . .  probably. I had my bangs trimmed this week and the girl seemed to forget what she was doing and now I look twelve years old (except for the pregnant belly). I was like, "Um, this is a little short." She says, "Maybe you'll like it once you get home." Hm. I guess that's an option.

I'm tired. (And hungry but let's not mention it.)

The 'in between' season feels a bit hectic at times.  And heavy, come to think of it.

Do you ever feel 'in between'? You know . . . I want to do something fun like a join a book club, but I'm tired. I'd like to go to a Bible study, but I really can only do so many things without feeling stretched too thin. I go to work and colleagues say that they feel like they never see me. I see friends on my days off and they feel like they never see me. I'm in between, I suppose. Popping in here and there.

Loveys, we do so many things. Life is busy. Carpool and grocery trips and homework and bills to pay. It's hard to slow down when life doesn't slow down. Jeff and I were talking about going up to the mountains for a weekend soon. Sometimes, we just have to take ourselves out of our schedule for a few days, in order to recharge. Stop for a minute and regroup, then keep going. People need us. Children depend on us. That doesn't stop. People get sick. People get hurt (I'm thinking of Jeff's back).

I'd rather be needed than alone, wouldn't you?

But still, it's important to recognize when we need a recharge. When we need a day to ourselves. When we need to have coffee and connect with friends. I went to the library the other day, in search of a new devotional. I just felt this need to find something to minister to my heart this fall, something to give me some spiritual truth and encouragement during the next few holiday months. I was thinking of One Thousand Gifts. If you have recommendations, please send those my way! 

October is almost here. I've been holding on to summer, but I can't fight October. Costumes and candy corn and yellow leaves. Once we cross into October, it's sort of like my pregnancy weight gain, there's no going back. :) Embrace the falling leaves, the cool breezes, the chocolate-covered apples. Stick a wreath on your door. Invite a friend over for cider.

The in between season. We all have them. Let's live them together.

No comments

Tell me about it! I love hearing from you!