I've had a rough week. It's still rough, to be honest. I'm in the last couple of weeks of this pregnancy and I'm feeling it. Heavy. Tired. Overwhelmed. Emotional. It was one of those weeks where things kept going wrong. Jeff took one of our cars to the shop. $800 dollars later, the problem is not even close to being fixed. The kids have made me nuts this week. Jeff has been frustrated. I've been frustrated.
Today, at least, I feel like things were accomplished. Things were checked off my to-do list. We were in full nesting mode over here. I keep having that dull ache of lower back pain, and I know we're far enough along now that Lily could come anytime. This seems to push me to want everything to be ready. I washed baby blankets today and started packing my overnight bag. I am uncomfortable to the extreme at the moment.
Jeff asks me every day when my mom is coming. I told him today that the baby's not coming yet, so my mom's not coming quite yet. He said we need her soon. He's right. Next week is my last week at work. Friday I went to my last staff meeting. My last staff meeting after ten years of staff meetings.
So many changes.
There's that whisper again. Be brave.
I'm tired at the moment. I've been sitting here, typing, and watching my tummy move up and down while Lillian seems to be doing somersaults. It's not really a restful time--being nine months pregnant and all. But there are moments. Lincoln and Ashtyn have been more than a handful this week. And yet still, Jeff and I were looking at the kids today and it's crazy how much we love them. Those two kids are absolutely adored. I'm so glad they're mine. And amid all the chaos of this week, when I told Jeff this afternoon that I was tired, he immediately had me lay down for a nap while he corralled those kids of ours. I was able to get some desperately needed rest.
True love. Being there for each other.
And I'm reminded of how blessed I am. To have this precious family. To have Jeff. To know my mom will be here soon to help. I finished organizing all the clothes and blankets and everything in Lily's room, and it just made me grateful. So many lovely gifts from family and friends. Love and support in practical ways. It makes all the difference.
We all have rough weeks. The kind with unexpected costs that overwhelm us. The kind where our kids make us crazy. The kind where we want to lock the bathroom door and have a good cry.
Some days are harder than others.
I know I'm in the final stretch of this pregnancy. It's only a matter of time before Lillian makes her appearance. Thank heavens. I feel very ready. Let the countdown begin. There might not be a whole lot of rest happening for me at the moment, but there's a whole lot of love in this house. There's chaos too. But there's love. We can't wait for our newest member to arrive.
It makes everything worth it.
I'm so glad to have this little family of mine.