The Drama of Life (A Venting Post about News Stuff)
Lovey, how are you? It's Friday and we love Fridays over here. I've always loved Fridays. Who doesn't? So there's chicken teriyaki in the slow cooker right now; I need to make some rice in a little while. We've got cotton candy and popcorn for movies tonight. I really want to see that movie Allied, has anyone seen it? Thoughts? It looks good but we'll see. I went through a phase when I was in high school where I was fascinated by all things WWII. (I think this was sparked by seeing Christian Bale in Swing Kids.) But there were great WWII inspired movies during that time period. Schindler's List! (And I was an ugly crier before that was a thing. Believe me.) I loved the movie Shining Through. So, Allied reminds me of that sort of movie. Here's hoping Lily decides to sleep tonight, if not, the only thing I'll be watching is Peppa Pig. Lily's been sick this week and when she's sick, she does NOT want to sleep in her bed alone. Misery loves company. So chicken little has been crashing our room every night. We've tried to let her stay up a little later and watch a few cartoons before sleep time, but even then, she's distraught and wants back up.
When kids are sick (or parents), it seems to get worse at night and last forever, don't you think? It's part of life, I know.
Fingers crossed that Lily cooperates so everyone can get a little rest over here.
So I've been feeling like everything is drama (not in my life). Do you feel that way? You get online and there's drama--everything from LeFou turning gay, to the world supposedly ending from Trump being in office. And everyone's telling everyone how to think. People saying "calm down" about one thing and "panic" about another. If you're a cool Christian, respond this way. If you're a bad Christian, respond this way.
And what if you don't fit in either group? (I'm telling you, the church is more divided and diverse than American politics) And what if you don't want to? (Asking for a friend.)
Here's the truth, I watched the president's address to congress this week. And it made me feel relieved and more at ease and thinking, This is going to be fine really. (Gasp.) Then the next day, I checked online and saw a million headlines basically saying, No, really, everything is horrible and the Russians are coming.
(.P.S.This is not about the Russians or the president or politics or the culture. I don't want to argue about any of it. Being a grown-up means eating dessert first if you want, and voting for whoever you want. I respect everyone's right to their own opinion.)
And I clicked off the news and after I shook off the intense negativity that is everywhere (this took a while), I thought, Wait, I love my life.
And as I've said before, my heart goes out to those who are suffering and I believe in praying and offering support and help where we can and being good people. I really believe in living that out in our neighborhoods and communities and beyond.
But truly, I love Jeff and these kids and our home and Friday nights and movies and popcorn and wine. Happiness is a good thing. I read all this stuff online, and my blood pressure rises, then I click off of it and have to do laundry or put dinner in the crockpot, and my blood pressure goes back to normal, and I remember, we decide what's best for our family and we move in that direction. Sometimes those choices are uncool. But, honestly, I've never been the coolest. And honestly, sometimes I wish the Christian church overall had a more united front. I wish we followed the same code so that when people outside of the church viewed us, they'd see a group of Jesus-followers always working together, rather than always looking like a very chaotic, dysfunctional family, with bossy members, self-righteous members, meany-head members, rebellious members, and some people who don't even really want to be there.
But since it's made up of humans, I think it is what it is. And the fact is that good people have different views on what it looks like to be a Christian. I'm not always a good representation of the Christian church. I'm human. I spent A LOT of time in the church while I was growing up (words like lukewarm Christian and being spewed out of God's mouth still scare me). Jeff and I take a more laid-back approach at our house. But it's still there and it's important, this undercurrent of who we are and whose we are and who we represent. We know a lot of Christian families and it's amazing how different we all are. How we parent. What's important to us. That's just real life. We're allowed to be different.
(We're even allowed to feel happy or outraged or relieved or passionate. Here's an example of something newsworthy (NOT REALLY): I was frustrated by adorable Emma Watson's photo shoot with Vanity Fair this week. I just was. I respect her voice on issues for women, and I was disappointed because I didn't feel her photo shoot went well with things she's said in the past. That's how I feel. Then there's a deluge of articles telling me why it's wrong to feel that way and anyone who feels that way better stop. NO. I get to come to my own conclusion. So do you, lovey.)
I remember in high school and college, feeling like I couldn't wait to have the freedom to make my own choices. To go to church if I wanted to that Sunday, or not. To stay up late or not. To watch whatever I wanted on TV. To spend a whole day reading a book. To wear what I wanted. To eat where I wanted to. Then you grow up and other things impact your decisions, but overall, what you do is your choice. And I value that freedom. So ... mommy blogs and articles online might rile me up, but then I take a breath. Oh. I still get to make my choice. To spend my money where I choose. To be happy, not angry. To read what I want.
I'm knee-deep in motherhood, complete with a baby who's sniffling and coughing. At this very moment, I'm tired, I'm wearing yoga pants and my hair is in a bun. I need to take clothes out of the dryer. I spent last night proofing my compilation book that will be available later this month. I've been on a strange kick lately of watching sad movies that make me emotional. I'm delighted that Cadbury eggs are out and I've already had like four. The kids are happy that there's a Star Wars thing happening in town tomorrow. I love that it's Friday and the weather is gorgeous and nights with my family are the best. Also, I can't wait to hold hands and watch a movie with Jeff (again, if we're not watching Peppa Pig later, which is a high probability).
It's okay to feel strongly about things. Of course it is. I also think it's okay to be counter-cultural.
Some people thrive on drama. For me, if drama results in negativity or lecturing or anger, and this is just me, that pushes against what I'm after--peace, love, joy, rest. (Definitely rest.) I want more positive. To be honest, I'm still trying to balance social media and being a stay-at-home mom of a toddler who can only do so much. Social media can be great because you don't feel alone, but it can be so negative and frustrating. I'm trying to find the happy medium. (I'm wondering if it exists.)
It's Friday, loveys. This is a good thing. I wish you a happy Friday. It's okay to be happy. To choose to be positive. To look for the positive around us. To give people a chance. To have dessert first if we want.
(Just call me Pollyanna over here.)