A Little Bit of Brandy

So What Wednesday

2012-02-22T12:45:00.008-08:00

I love Shannon's So What Wednesdays, so today I'm joining in. This week I'm saying so what if:

I'm currently living for Friday nights when I know Jeff will bring pizza home. At least we're not eating it every other day of the week!
Despite my usual intolerance of reality shows, I am slowly being won over by The Voice. But what is up with that cat Cee-Lo is always holding??
I am taking my laid-back parenting approach when it comes to making Lincoln have tummy time and eat rice cereal from a spoon. He doesn't want to do either! What else can I do?
I can't seem to get enough sleep. It's just that time of life, I guess. So I'm going to yawn a lot. And feel tired. Sorry but there's no way around that.
I love that Ashtyn is over the paci, but sometimes wish she still had it for comfort's sake.
Despite the terrible time we had getting Ash over said paci, we're giving Lincoln his constantly. We must be in denial about what the end result will be.

Go link up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew"!

Start Strong, End Frazzled

2012-02-21T18:20:00.003-08:00

Today was one of those days. The 'start strong' kind, where you leave on time for work, your hair is cooperating and you like your outfit, you don't get mad even though you have to stop to fill up with gasoline (and you normally hate that), the view of the mountains is gorgeous, "Good Life" by OneRepublic is on the radio and you turn it up extra loud, and you basically feel good about the day, despite the wind that usually drives you crazy.

But somehow by tonight, I was exhausted. All the crying and pulling on me was wearing me down. Jeff called to say he'd be home late. There didn't seem to be five straight minutes of silence. There's something wrong with the downstairs bathroom and there's water all over the floor. I felt everything unraveling when I was trying to eat dinner while also trying to force Ashtyn to eat anything and having to hold Lincoln at the same time because he's in a new 'cry if I'm not held' phase. Jeff keeps telling me to just let him cry now and then. But hearing lots of crying does not add to an already-lacking-peace-and-quiet evening, and does not help a mom whose last nerve is fraying.

Yes, one of those days, friends. Luckily, Jeff came home and immediately kissed me for ten seconds. This is our new thing. I forget where I read it, but somewhere I read that you should kiss your partner for at least ten seconds straight every day. You'd be surprised how intentional you have to be to work this in. But it really helps! Try it! Though be warned, it doesn't always work when frazzled mom is, well, frazzled. But today, it worked.

*Kid update. So tonight while I was cooking, Linc was in his crib and I could hear through the monitor that he'd just started crying. Ashtyn started telling me over and over that, "Lincoln's crying, Mommy! He's crying!" I told her that I knew it and I'd be up there in a second and would she like to go check on him. It turns out that Ashtyn has less tolerance for crying than I do (at least when it's coming from Lincoln). About a minute later, I can hear the two of them through the monitor. He's not crying and Ashtyn is chattering away. Wonderful. I'm wondering how she did it. So after about five minutes, I go upstairs to check on them. Linc is in the crib, holding a toy and kicking his legs in the air like usual. Ashtyn is also in the crib, under his blankets, saying how tired she is. They are happy as can be in there together and I stood there and smiled a real smile.

These Boots Were Made for Walkin

2012-02-16T09:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's the deal: Are marathons becoming a major trend for moms? I think maybe. I have friends doing marathons, and it seems like lots of the mom blogs I frequent are talking about marathons and running and getting places fast and all that jazz. This is a problem for me. We've talked about my easily influenced self--but, people, I can't join this craze. I just can't. Not long ago I decided I could be a runner. So I took off outside for a run. It felt great for about nineteen seconds. Three houses down, I turned around and went home, hoping I'd survive until I could get there and drink a Diet Dr Pepper. When Jeff got home later, I told him I'd gone for a run that day. He was super impressed and asked me how far I got. I said, "You know that house like three doors down?" He frowned. "That's not really a run, Bran." Um, yes it was. My legs moved fast and I couldn't breathe.

I decided I'm not runner material. I think it's cool that people are, and I sort of wish I could magically have the stamina to do such things, but I think I'll stick to my exercise bike that sits comfortably in the air condition in front of the TV, near the bookshelf. Time goes by faster for me if I'm watching The Good Wife or reading The Hunger Games.

Maybe the purpose in running is the goal of accomplishing something. Or finishing something you've started. I'm not sure. But unless there's something really wonderful like birthday cake at the end of the finish line, I don't think I'm going to get there. And I'm absolutely okay with that. I just start singing to myself, "These boots were made for walkin'. And that's just what they'll do." I have other things on my bucket list. I want to see a frozen waterfall. I feel like this should be easy for me since I live in Colorado. But it hasn't happened yet. Maybe next year. It's going to happen.

*Kid update: I'm trying to start Linc on rice cereal. He just spits it back out and smiles. We're getting nowhere with this, but the girl at the daycare tells me to keep trying. Ashtyn is waking up during the night and since she no longer has the paci, we have to get up to comfort her. Very tragic for us. I'm looking like a Cullen with dark circles under my eyes.

When it comes to Valentine's Day . . .

2012-02-09T08:04:00.029-08:00

Hearts. Flowers. Kisses. Chocolate. You know the drill, people. Now I know that some people aren't into Valentine's Day and that's okay. True, it's a holiday where people spend way too much money and it would be better if your significant other showed you he/she loved you all year round in surprising ways rather than the one time per year that flowers are marked up like one hundred percent. I know, I know. But I like Valentine's Day. And I don't think you have to spend a lot of money to make it special. And since I want to be my husband's valentine, I'm good with hearts and kisses and cards and chocolate and all the love. Bring it on. (And for the record, Jeff is great about doing sweet things for me all during the year. But he's also smart enough to know that on Happy Hearts Day, he better let his girl know she's still the One. ;)

So since I'm a lovey kind of girl, I like to do creative things for Jeff for Valentine's Day. I've already got this year planned out, but I can't say anything yet or that might spoil the suprise. But before I decided, I was searching the Internet and asking people for ideas. So I wanted to share some here for people looking for ideas to share the love.

1. A card is a must. It can absolutely be handmade or a little note or a small poem you copied--but you've gotta have something. Sweet cards are good, but look for one that fits your honey's personality. Funny cards, romantic cards, silly cards--whatever.

If you're doing valentines for your child's class, save a couple and sign them from you to your spouse and hide them in places he'll find them (his closet, his car, the freezer, his shoes, etc.) And definitely send an "I love you" text first thing!

2. For our first Valentine's Day, Jeff bought me a beautiful ring with a gold heart. I gave him the book, Guess How Much I Love You? That book is super sweet and has been special to us ever since. I highly recommend it for your sweetheart.

3. Flowers are great, but they can be really expensive at Valentine's, so don't feel like you have to go that route. Chocolates are good, too. (I'm a heartbox of chocolates girl myself. It's so easy for Jeff! He always knows that this is what I want!)

4. Decorating someone's room or office space is a good idea, too. One year before Jeff and I were married, I went to his apartment while he was at work and decorated his bedroom wall for Valentine's. (I had to look for this picture in one of our old photo albums!) Good memories. That year, he made a candlelight dinner for us. Very sweet. If you're staying home, you could decorate your bedroom. This takes time, but could be fun. Christmas lights are a good idea. Candles, flower petals, old photos, music, champagne--yada, yada, yada.

5. Have dinner at home and just dress up your table to make it special. (Make or buy a special dessert!)
6. I read lots of things online about outdoor things like picnics and such. But I live in Colorado, people, and it's too cold for that. But if that would work for you, go for it. (Come to think of it, an indoor picnic would be fun.)

7. I've mentioned before that one year I made Jeff a CD called the "Jeff and Brandy Soundtrack" with all our favorite songs from when we were dating and our wedding and that sort of thing. He loved it and still listens to it.

8. Last year I made him a T-shirt. (Idea came from a How I Met Your Mother episode.) This was a big hit with him. He wears it to play basketball.

9. Here's an idea I got from a friend, create a book about the two of you. There are websites where you can do this like www.bookbyyou.com. I think this sounds hilarious and so fun!

10. Create a personalized crossword puzzle for your partner. Use all kinds of things special to the two of you--your wedding date, favorite TV shows, dream vacations, and such. You can find free websites to do this.

11. Create a Top Ten list. Jeff and I did this one year. We each made a Top Ten list of the things we love and appreciate about each other. Then we went out for dinner and exchanged lists and read them out loud. This was both funny and really sweet. (You might be surprised by the things he appreciates about you!)

12. Create a scrapbook or photo album with highlights from your life together. You can make one or create one online somewhere like Shutterfly. (You could also make a shadowbox with special items.)

13. Create a gift basket for your partner.

14. If dinner out can't work because you have kids, try a breakfast date or lunch date.

15. If you're keeping it simple, maybe just buy one of those special cupcakes, wrapped. Or go to one of those specialty bundt cake bakeries and get a bundt cake wrapped. Those are adorable gifts.

16. If you know it's going to be a family thing where you are home with the kids, you can still have a really fun holiday. Everybody exchange Valentine's and watch a sweet movie like Lady and the Tramp!

Silence and Sleep Do Not Exist

2012-02-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess they exist. It just feels like they don't exist at my house right now. Do you ever feel like you just can't quite catch up on the sleep you need? I seriously think that if Jeff asked me right now what I'd like for Valentine's, I would tell him uninterrupted sleep. It sounds like a dream I used to experience. Both kids sleep through the night mostly--but every morning we're all up by about 6 am. Even on weekends. And sometimes it's earlier than that. I think I'm just frustrated because Linc is starting to nap in short intervals, and getting Ash to stay quiet during those times is, um, impossible. So then he wakes up. Or Ash will finally go down for a nap and Linc will start yelling and she'll wake right back up.

As for me, I'm not a morning person. I don't think I ever have been. I can remember my dad trying to wake me up in the mornings when I was a teenager; my mom yelling for all of us to wake up or we'd be late for school. The other day I told Sara that I'm basically a third child for Jeff to get up in the mornings. Terrible, I know. He tells me to wake up and I put my head under the blanket. He turns the bathroom light and the closet light on and I groan. Every now and then I'll have a burst of energy and shock both of us by getting up first, but it's not the norm.

All that to say, I'm tired, people. I remember when I was in college, one of my professors (who had small children) was having an off day and I asked him what was wrong, and he told me, "Basically I haven't slept in three years." I now know what he was talking about. Coffee is becoming my constant companion.

*Kid news: Ash has started making us scold inanimate objects that hurt her. For example, running in the house and hitting the table. Ash will start crying and tell me, "It hurt me! Say, bad table, Mama! Say, don't hurt my girl!" Already today I've had to say this to her bed and the table. We do it all day long. It's so funny! At lunch today, Ashtyn was making Lincoln laugh, then she was making me laugh by the things she was saying about Linc. She told me he's a big baby. And she told me that even though he's bigger, he doesn't talk.

Nice 'n easy there, girlfriend

2012-01-24T16:47:00.000-08:00

I know a woman (who shall remain nameless) who may or may not have recently found a few gray hairs on the top of her head. Supposing this really did happen, I have to tell you that it's a tragedy. Because the woman in question has super dark hair, so a gray hair actually looks like a white hair and causes the woman to feel like she will soon look like a snow-capped mountain. And for you skeptics, just because she has dark hair doesn't mean she's me! But we do happen to be the same age. How can someone have several gray hairs at the spring-chicken age of 32? It's almost cry worthy. The woman in question mentioned this to another woman right after she'd seen a white hair and exclaimed, "I'm freaking out!" And the other woman said, "Oh, girl, don't worry about it. Lady Clairol will be there for you for the rest of your life." While that is, indeed, a comfort, gray hairs are still tragic. This young woman didn't think she'd encounter such things till well in her forties. Is this normal? Is it stress? Are women going gray sooner these days? I think of that movie The Holiday where Cameron Diaz says that her ex-boyfriend will go on looking cute for forever while women look haggard as they age. It doesn't seem fair. Jeff is totally fine with having gray hair--even though he, of course, doesn't have any yet. (I'm not saying I do. I admit to nothing.)

Let's talk about something slightly less vexing. Downton Abbey. Oh, wait. I do have something vexing to say about it. Every single time I've watched an episode on PBS, the screen has frozen at some time or another. It's totally vexing and I wish it would stop. Jeff says that maybe because it's public television, they need more donations to keep it from happening. I don't know. All I know is that every time it happens, Sara and I gasp loudly and hold our breath until it comes back on. After my fiasco with the Comcast helper who told me we don't have Comcast, I'm not rushing to contact anyone about anything. Apart from that frustration, I am loving this series. Maggie Smith is brilliant, as usual. Her disapproving looks and mannerisms are just hilarious! She's my favorite character. If you're not watching it, you totally should. I wasn't crazy about Lady Mary in the first season, but I'm definitely rooting for her in this season. There's been such good character development with the main characters. It's so fun to have another series like this to be hooked on! Every time I watch it, I want to have a cup of tea. It feels so British. :)

P.S. Update on Ashtyn. She has started randomly telling me, "Here I am, Mommy!" Even if she's just sitting across from me. I think it's adorable that she wants to make sure I know where she is at all times. Another adorable thing is that she's so cute at asking for help. She's very quick to ask for help for the smallest thing. I'll hear her call out, "I need some help!" from all over the house.

A Little Princess

2012-01-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

I love little girl rooms. I had so much fun putting Ashtyn's room together (well, cheering Jeff on while he painted and so on). I loved Ashtyn's nursery and leaving that behind when we moved was sad. But once we moved into our new house, I knew I wanted to fix up her room in a way that would make her feel like it was her place, and I wanted it to be a place where she wanted to play. While I was trying to decide what to do for her room, I searched all sorts of blogs and websites for ideas. Which made me think that now that her room is done, I should post some photos for any moms out there looking for ideas for their little princess's room. I'll add a picture of her nursery for a little nostalgia for me.

Here's the thing about bedrooms: they're important! Really, I think a child's bedroom should foster imagination and comfort. When I was a little girl, I had an amazing room. Huge windows with woods right outside that made you feel as though you were in an enchanted place. It was a big room with space to play and I loved it. That's something I want for Ashtyn, a place that makes her happy.

You can see that we still have a rocker in her room. That's for Jeff and myself. Ashtyn loves for us to spend time with her in her room, and since there's a place for us to sit, we're much more likely to stay in there and play with her. Also, I looked high and low for blue cushions to replace the pink ones so I could move it into Linc's room. But I couldn't find anything! And Jeff really wanted us to leave a chair in Ashtyn's room. He loves to be in there with her, too. I know for some families, they have large playrooms for all the toys to stay in. Our house isn't like that. I'm okay with having toys in other areas of the house, of course (that's inevitable!) but I also want Ash's room to be a place that's like a playroom for her. And it's really worked. She plays in there all the time. I hear her giving her dolls a tea party (birthday party, more likely), and sometimes she's in her bean bag (which for some reason, she calls her potato) looking at all her books. She knows she can make a royal mess in her room if she wants to. And it's contained so I don't feel like I'm going nuts.

I'd looked for an affordable bed crown for forever, and finally found one on Etsy. I ordered the wall decals off Amazon. The pink on the walls is sort of a bubble-gum pink and the brown is a chocolate brown.

So, I'll most likely post pictures of Lincoln's room soon, for any mommies needing ideas for a little guy's room.

Lists, Lists, and More Lists

2012-01-19T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hi friends! Okay, remember the other day when I told you that I'm easily influenced? Well, I've been reading all my favorite blogs this morning and so many of them are doing lists and I love reading them so I'm going to join the crowd and do a list of my own.

List of Nothing Imparticular:

1. 2012 is much like 2011 when it comes to TV viewing at the Bruce home. I am still addicted to Criminal Minds, Law and Order SVU, and The Good Wife. (And at the moment, Downton Abbey.)
2. I am a total fraidy cat (and the jumpiest person ever) when it comes to anything scary so why I watch Criminal Minds and Law and Order SVU continues to be a mystery.
3. I am just in love with all of Ashtyn's quirks and sayings at the moment. I'm thinking 3 is the funnest age ever.
4. I still can't handle watching reality TV. It feels so awkward to me and I can't handle much awkwardness. I prefer scripts and fake things.
5. Even though Ash was a baby just three years ago, I can't seem to remember anything baby-related. Not good for Lincoln. I feel like I'm starting all over. When do kids start solid foods again?
6. I have no idea how my house can start off relatively clean in the mornings and look like a disaster zone by 9 am. Make that 8 am.
7. I'm beginning to hate doing laundry. We have more laundry now than ever before and Jeff has a habit of being able to not see it even if it's piled up like a mountain. Hmmm. He also is able to not see all my make up and hair stuff piled on the bathroom counter so I try not to complain too much.
8. Lincoln is nearing the five-month mark and I can finally wear my favorite jeans again. This is a happy thing and is making 2012 a good year so far. All last year I had to waddle around like a penguin, so I'm going to relish the fact that I feel normal again.
9. I'm determined to continue fostering friendships this year. It's important enough for me to take time to do it. I'm tired of telling people constantly that I'm so busy. Life is busy. I don't think it's going to change. I'm going to find a way to navigate. I joined a moms group and I'm excited about it.
10. I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I feel like I have to join because everyone else has: instagram, pinterest, yada yada yada. I can't keep up!

The End of an Era

2012-01-18T15:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, folks, I think we may be reaching the end of an era at my house. So this week, Ash bit the rubber part of her pacifier in two. She yelled and I came running to her room, and she held it out and told me her paci was "broken."

Hmm. We may have an opportunity here, I thought.

I have to say that letting go of the paci hasn't been easy over here. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that it's been too hard and not worth it to me and Jeff. Anyway, Ash is now three and getting to be a big girl and I've been thinking the paci may need to go the way of hi-tops and fanny packs and pen necklaces--you know what I mean. Adios. So last night was Night Number 2 that Ash has slept without the paci. The first night I told her that I didn't have another paci and since hers was broken, she would have to sleep without it. She understood, but also told me we could get a new one tomorrow. Last night it took her a while to go to sleep--lots of getting up and such. She also reminded me that we needed to buy another paci. But eventually she went to sleep, sans paci. I'm thinking we may be getting somewhere! Her pediatrician has been telling me to take away the paci since Ash was about 6 months old. But we haven't and I've been okay with that. Over the past year we've transitioned to Ash only having her paci at naptime and bedtime. But saying goodbye for good hasn't seemed possible. Until now! I'm hopeful that she will continue to be convinced that we just can't buy another paci and that she doesn't really need it anyway. How did you take away your kid's paci? I've heard of convincing your child to give it to poor children who need pacifiers, letting the paci fairy take it away and leaving money under the pillow for it (the paci fairy must be related to the tooth fairy), or cold turkey, of course. I'm too much of a softy for that. (Also, I have too low tolerance for long-term screaming.)

So, tonight is Night Number 3. We'll see how it goes.

Trendy Shmendy

2012-01-14T10:08:00.000-08:00

So here's the thing about me: I'm easily influenced. I am. It's not one of my best traits but there you have it. A not-so-secret about me is that I am not all that trendy. Yesterday I watched about one and half minutes of that show What Not to Wear on TLC (I love that show), but the advice-giving girl was telling the girl who needs advice that she's over thirty now and all clothes from high school must be thrown away. First of all, if I have something that still fits from high school, I think I should get to wear it just out of pure joy. I started trying to think about whether I have any clothes from high school. I actually just recently cleaned out my closet and filled a huge bag with clothes to donate to charity. I'm thinking maybe some high-school/freshman-year-of-college clothes were in there. So I really think all my high school clothes have been discarded. Part of this is because most of those clothes were tragic and really needed to be discarded. But I do have at least two pairs of jeans from early on in my college years that can never be thrown away. My bff from high school (who is still my bff and actually started being my bff during elementary school)--she and I used to go jean shopping together. (We were twinkies when we were little and liked to match. Stop laughing. Matching when you're small is cute!) Anyway, we'd shop together. And we found these jeans we loved--I think they were from Express. I still love them and think of them as my "old faithfuls." And the fact that I can still wear them makes me happy on not-so-happy days. So they serve several purposes and therefore need to be kept forever.

Anyway, the people on TLC are always giving women fabulous ideas on how they should be dressing. And I'm all about dressing for your age and looking as great as you can and whatnot. But everytime I watch that show (I'm usually wearing sweatshirts and jeans, btw), I decide all over again that I need to be more trendy. Then I remind myself that no one needs to look trendy when they're at home watching TV and I feel better. I can do my best to look nice when I'm out and about, but sweatshirts and jeans just have to be a big part of my wardrobe when I'm hanging out at home. I've noticed, though, that a few times when I'm dressed for work in the morning or ready to go out on a date with Jeff, Ashtyn has come up to me and said, "Mommy, you're beautiful." And when she says it, I really do feel beautiful. So while I'm perfectly happy wearing jeans and sweatshirts at home or to the store (or whenever I feel like it), I do have to say that there's something about dressing up that makes us feel good about ourselves. And when your toddler notices and thinks her mommy looks beautiful--well, that's a really good feeling and one I don't want to lose.

Is that important to you? How your children see you? It's important to me. Jeff said something about my mom the other day that stuck with me. I can't even remember what we were talking about, but somewhere in the conversation, Jeff said, "Well, your mom is one of the most capable women I've ever met." I've thought about that a lot. My mom is capable. And I love that Jeff sees that in her. When Ashtyn is older, I want her to have those kinds of thoughts about me. I want her to see her mom as capable. I want her to be proud of me. I'm always proud of her, of course. She can be dressing up a reindeer doll (like she was this morning) and I look at her and think she's adorable and smart and perfect. But I want my daughter to see me as more than just her mom. I want her to see me as a woman who is capable of accomplishing things. Because I want her to be encouraged that she can be a woman who is capable of accomplishing anything she wants to.

What do you think? What do you want your children to see when they look at you?

Me and Mr. Darcy

2012-01-10T19:45:00.001-08:00

What do you do when you have a sudden rush of sadness? I'm asking the question, but I think we all know the answer. It's obvious. You need a little Mr. Darcy in your life. Let me just say up front that I'm not a huge fan of sad movies. I can take them in small doses, but I'm more of a happy-movie watcher. Today, that old movie Awakenings with Robin Williams was on TV and even amid tons of distraction, I got hooked into it. By the end, I was crying as I held Lincoln and listened to Ashtyn pretend to take a shower in Mardi Gras beads. And after watching something sad and subsequently feeling sad, I had this need for a movie to make me happy. And so, I pulled my default movie out of the black thing (that's what Jeff and I call our cabinet where we keep our DVDs--we were just never quite sure what to call it since it's kind of a random piece of furniture; so we started refering to it as the black thing and it stuck). Anyway, soon Colin Firth was on the TV screen, saying things like, "I've been meditating on the pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in a pretty woman can bestow" and such, and I started feeling better. How watching a movie that includes a Mrs. Bennet can make me feel better is a mystery of life, but it does.

I've got my go-to movies that I just need to watch sometimes. And I've got my go-to books that I need to read sometimes. You know what I mean? Do you have go-to movies or books that you fall back on? Something you immediately gravitate to when you need comfort for whatever reason? I think I even have go-to foods. What would be on your go-to list? I bet if you made a list, and stepped back and looked at it, you'd see yourself. Because all the things you like are part of what make you, you. Or me, me. I could probably come up with Jeff's list pretty easily because after being with him for 13 years (married for 9) I know what his likes and dislikes are. Here's just a tiny glimpse of my go-to list--what's on yours?

1. Pride and Prejudice (BBC version)

2. Heavier Things by John Mayer (love, love, love this CD)

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (book, of course--though I love the movies, too)

4. Convenience-store cappucino (I can't tell you how much I love that English Toffee stuff)

5. Christmas music (for some reason, it always calms me when I'm stressed!)

Oh, you want a glimpse of Jeff's go-to list, too? :)
1. ESPN
2. AMP energy drinks
3. Rocky

There you have it.

Panic during Downton Abbey

2012-01-09T08:03:00.000-08:00

So, I love BBC movies. You know, Pride and Prejudice, Wives and Daughters, North and South, Sense and Sensibility, Emma, Cranford, and so on. Seriously, my mom and my sisters and I can spend days just watching those period films and loving every minute of it. Well, you may or may not have seen Downton Abbey when it came on PBS last year. (It was fabulous.) Season 2 started last night. Sara and I were super excited and completely enthralled in the movie when the channel froze. You know what I said the other day about my luck? Or lack of it? PBS was the only frozen channel. We were freaking out and turning off the TV and restarting everything and nothing worked. Jeff wasn't home while the movie was on or I would have been having him call our cable company immediately. After it seemed like it was going to be stuck permanently, I rushed upstairs and jumped online to contact Comcast customer service. They had that live chat thing so I clicked on that and explained how PBS was frozen on my TV and could they please fix it immediately because I'm in the middle of watching Downton Abbey. The guy who responded was very nice of course. I gave him my information (typing at the speed of light) and emphasized how important it was for me to get back to the movie. He was offering me ideas (like to restart everything of course. Doesn't everyone try that first?). Not too long after, I heard the TV back on in my room. So after all that drama, I told the guy it was working again and we were saved and the movie was on. He types back to me: "Okay. Just a head's up, though, you don't have a system with us." Um, what? I typed back that I was pretty sure we did but it didn't matter since it was working again and thanks for all his help and everything. I would have felt slightly embarrassed if I hadn't been sure we did have a system with them. This morning, I was telling Jeff all about it (the movie didn't end until super late since it was frozen for forever), and he tells me, "Bran, we have dish network. We only have comcast internet." Oh. Oh good. I'll just go back to feeling embarrassed now.

(On an entirely different note, Lincoln rolled from his tummy to his back for the first time yesterday. :) Very exciting.)

It's a Tan Thing

2012-01-07T16:05:00.000-08:00

You know how some people seem to just be really lucky? Like everything goes their way and works out for them and they look really cute all the time and everyone in the world likes them and wants to be their friend and they usually happen to also be really creative and smart? I know. Those people drive me nuts, too. Anyway, I'm so not one of those people. I feel lucky about some things, I guess--the important things like family and work. But when it comes to the random things in life, I can be really unlucky. Here's a great example. I don't like tanning. Really, laying down in those things makes me feel claustrophobic. I lay there consumed with thoughts about all the plastic splitting and the bulbs breaking or the whole place going up in flames while I have my headphones on or the fact that as I'm laying there, I'm probably getting skin cancer. However, I also hate always looking like I belong in Alaska (meaning: pale white). So a while back, Jeff gave me a gift card for free sessions at the tanning place nearby since I'd been complaining about blending in with the snow. That was so nice of Jeff, but when I went to the tanning place, there's not a tanning bed, it's a standup thing--if you've never experienced that, let me describe it to you: claustrophobia center. I also have a terrible fear that the timer thing isn't going to work and I'll cook in there forever before someone realizes it's not working. So I have to take my iPod in every time, and if the tanning thing hasn't cut off by the beginning of the fourth song, I click the panic button (also known as the off button). So here's the unlucky part. I've gone to about nine sessions, so I should be looking like I live at the beach, right? Wrong. Somehow, only the top half of me has gotten tan. My legs manage to remain Cullen-like. Excellent. Nine sessions, people! Ridiculous. It's just my luck, I suppose. My tanning days (or tanning-half-my-body days) are about to be over.

Update on 2012: Ashtyn is still calling me Mr. Mommy all the time. There was a whooping cough outbreak at daycare so my kids had to be quarantined at home for 5 days (lots of kid movies going on at my house during that time). Downton Abbey Season 2 starts on PBS Sunday night and I am counting down the minutes until Sara comes over and we get to watch it. I tried to be creative this week with the wall decals in Ashtyn's room and it didn't work. Jeff asked me if I meant for it to look like one big strong wind blew all the leaves from the tree into one space. Not cool.

Post-Holiday Ramblings

2012-01-01T11:39:00.000-08:00

It's over. Christmas, I mean. My tree is put away, all the decorations have been stored, the only thing left is for Jeff to take down the outside lights. And since he's at the Bronco's game today in Denver, that's going to have to wait. Sigh.

Do you feel sad post-Christmas? There's so much anticipation for that one special day, then it's just . . . over. I think, for me, I have to remind myself that there's just no way to live with that kind of hype all the time. At that level of energy. (Think of all those Christmas movies where at the North Pole, for Santa and the elves, the hype never ends! Exhausting!) I love all the energy that builds as we get ready for Christmas. I love the decorations, the baking, the parties, the shopping, the cooking, the joy of being with my family--all of it. But I also love seasons. And you know, as much as I love summer and I'm always sad to see it go, I love fall and start getting excited about pumpkins and such. Then I get excited for winter and twinkle lights and packages.

Today is New Year's. Definitely a time of new beginnings and things to look forward to in the new year. I love fresh starts. I think that's one of the reasons that moving into a new house invigorates me. (And exhausts me, of course.) There's something great about a new beginning. Not starting over--just starting again. Today is the first day of 2012. What do I want for this year? What are my hopes for this next year of my life? I don't have a laundry list of things I want to accomplish this year, like I've had in past years. At this season in my life, with small children, I just want to enjoy each day and make the most of this time.

We had such a wonderful Christmas this year. My family came to visit and we had Christmas at my house. I'm lucky to have a really fun, loving family. It's still amazing to me that Jeff and I have two children! That my life has this beautiful love story that keeps on going and moving forward. I can't tell you how grateful I am to be starting this year with Jeff and Ash and Linc. I am so blessed in my marriage, in my relationship. And Ashtyn and Lincoln give me this sense of fulfillment that I didn't know existed. Every day has a measure of happiness and I love it.

So what do I want for 2012? More of the same, I guess. A happy family. Lots of love and laughter. Good movies (Yay for Hunger Games coming out soon!). Good books to read. Watch my children grow. Spend time with my family. Spend time with my friends, those people sharing life with me. I want to do purposeful things--make a difference. Be happy. Be grateful. Live.

To me, that sounds like a lot to look forward to. :)

Merry Christmas Eve!

2011-12-24T13:02:00.000-08:00

Hi friends! I hope you're all enjoying this most wonderful time of year. All is well at the Bruce home. Ashtyn and I made star-shaped Christmas cupcakes and she keeps telling me, "Mommy, I need a star!"

I am just loving our tree this year. It's all red, white, and silver. Basically, I just love Christmas lights, so having them in the house--on a tree or whatever--makes me happy. :) I still haven't found a first-Christmas ornament for Lincoln yet. I'm thinking that will have to wait post-holiday.

My family arrived in town yesterday morning at the crack of dawn and were exhausted from the long drive here. Laura (my youngest sister) told me on the phone, "I hope you know this is true love, Bran." :) It really was a long drive and I'm so thankful they made it. So anyway, everyone was at my house last night together--so nice--until my little darling son started having a meltdown. Here's the thing. You know how your kids never act a certain way until company comes over? And then you find yourself telling everybody, "Really, he's never been this way before!" And even you know it sounds desperate but it's true! Lincoln is usually a very mellow baby. When he cries, it's usually because he's hungry and if you give him a bottle, he's happy again. Last night, he was screaming for a really long time and we still don't know why! Of course! The first time everyone has seen him in months, and he has a meltdown. And, as you can guess, my nerves were shot as well as I tried desperately to do whatever I could to calm him down. Nothing worked. He finally wore himself out and I rocked him to sleep. Today he's been totally fine.

Luckily, no one acted like the screaming in the background bothered them. :) My family is great that way. Well, all the wrapping is done and we'll be heading to the Christmas Eve service soon. I'm pretty sure there isn't going to be childcare. Oh dear. Let's hope there are no meltdowns.

Christmas Cards and Such

2011-12-19T12:10:00.001-08:00

So, the thing about this time of year is that things get so hectic, you can't keep track of what you're doing. Case in point: I really like sending out Christmas cards, and I'm a little late getting to it this year. Part of the reason is that I wanted a picture of the four of us, and we never ever seem to have any. We take lots of pictures of the kids, but we rarely get a picture of all of us--and if we do, it's rarely a very good picture. In other words, getting the kids to be still for even three seconds is a small miracle.

Anyway, we finally took a picture of the four of us that I could use for the Christmas card. Fabulous. I run to the store, make a stack absolutely as fast as I can because I have a million other things to do and Jeff has already called me once, with the kids crying in the background. So, I picked up the cards today and didn't even have time to look at them before going home because I had both children with me, and it had just started snowing, and we really needed to get home. (Of course, the minute Ashtyn was buckled in her car seat, she tells me she needs to go to the bathroom. I sang Dora the Explorer songs all the way home, trying to distract her so we could make it sans disaster.) ANYWAY, I get home, pull out the cards and take a look. Hmm. Is that . . . ? Yes. Yes it is.

Jeff had been holding Lincoln before and during the picture taking moment, and apparently Linc had drooled on Daddy's shoulder. Obviously, this is not a new occurrence, but having a drool stain in the Christmas card picture wasn't part of my plan. What can I do? There's no way I'm going to have time to make more cards. Not to mention the fact that it's the only picture of the four of us I have. So--I mailed them out anyway. :) Happy Christmas.

Did I Say That? Really?

2011-12-14T21:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Jeff and I went out to dinner with some new friends last weekend. It was a really nice restaurant and we had a great time. Sara and Nemo watched the kiddos for us. It was the first time I'd met this couple (they were super nice), so it was kind of a get-to-know each other dinner. It was a buffet style meal, so there were moments where we were all walking around different places or seated at different times. The other husband and I were walking next to each other. It was the first time I'd ever been to this particular restaurant, and he and I were talking about it. And suddenly I said, "It's de-licious." Let me explain why this is so mortifying. Ashtyn has this cute way of saying that things are "deeee-licious." And I say it all the time too, now. Of course, you have to say it in the right sing-song voice. And yes, standing with this man that I've met for the first time, I tell him that the dinner is "deeee-licious." It happened before I could stop myself and there I am, sounding like I'm in preschool. And we're walking and there's not really an opportunity for me to explain that I didn't mean to sound like a preschooler, and that I do realize I sounded like that. So I just come across as someone who sometimes sings certain words in a very little-girl voice.

Embarrassing. Very.

I forgot about it until later and then I told Jeff, who proceeded to laugh for about five minutes because he knows exactly how I sound when I say "de-licious" to Ashtyn.

It seems like being a mommy means that sometimes you will say ridiculous things in public. Another example is that I find myself telling people, "Good job!" all the time, in the same bright, overly excited voice I use for Ashtyn a million times a day--even when I really don't need to tell whoever it is that they're doing a good job. And certainly not in a I'm-going-to-jump-up-and-down-and-do-a-dance sort of happy voice. But I do. What can I say? Having children under the age of four means singing Disney channel songs and dancing in circles and making macaroni-and-cheese on a very regular basis (like daily). And you know, having friends in that same stage of life can be really great. It's nice to talk with other parents who you can relate to. At our dinner date the other night, there was a point where the four of us were talking about Max and Ruby. Max and Ruby! (The bunnies from the Disney channel.) Hilarious! :) So I guess it's not that terrible that I accidentally sang the word delicious.

Secrets

2011-12-06T16:49:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays, everyone! So here's the latest in the Bruce home: Ashtyn is learning about secrets. I'm not sure where she's learning the concept from (as usual, Dora is my first guess), but it's pretty cute. The other day Jeff and I were sitting in the living room and Ashtyn climbed up on Jeff and tells him that she wants to tell him a secret. This is new, so we're both thinking it's adorable. Ashtyn puts her mouth right to Jeff's ear and whispers, "Daycare."

Daycare? That's the secret? Really?

Jeff starts laughing and whispers something back to Ashtyn and then tells her to come and tell me. He tells her what to say again and then she climbs on me and puts her mouth right to my ear and whispers, "Daycare." We kept telling her to tell us different secrets, and whispering things to her like "I love you," but the only secret she'd tell us was daycare.

So yesterday, Sara (my sister) stopped by and Ashtyn wants to tell her a secret. What do you think the secret was? You guessed it! Daycare! It's her only secret and we're not sure why, but it's pretty hilarious. :) She's extremely pleased that she can tell secrets--well, the one secret, I mean.

So, it took a while for it to feel like Christmas to me, now I feel like it's in speed mode. And here's the truth about me: I am a chronic ornament shifter. I mean, I look at my tree constantly and see places that need ornaments, or where ornaments need to be moved or something. I told Jeff the other day that we have way too many bare spots on our tree. He looked at me in disbelief and told me that he doesn't see even one bare spot. I find them daily. The very bottom of our tree is bare on purpose. Georgia (the cat) and Ashtyn can reach it too easily, so we just can't have many ornaments down there. Which is a shame because, in my opinion, you can never have too many ornaments.

Last thing, so Sara and I both are loving this Christmas song at the moment. Thought I'd share it with you. Enjoy!

Christmas Shopping!

2011-12-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody! Or as my daughter likes to say, “Hi, friends!” (You have to picture me waving like Ashtyn does at this moment.) So, I thought while everyone’s in the Christmas shopping mode, I’d take a moment to remind you about my book! For anyone who loves sweet, humorous romance novels, Looks Like Love would be a great Christmas gift! You can grab a copy here. Or at Barnes & Noble.com.

See the book trailer below. Happy shopping!

Um, why do these pants fit me?

2011-11-28T12:43:00.001-08:00

Seriously, people. You know that diet I was talking about? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be on a diet in the October-January time period?! If you don't, that's okay. I'm glad for you. But for someone like me, it's the most uncool thing ever. Today I've been thinking about cheese soup. Cheese soup! I think the last time I ate that I was about ten years old. I never eat cheese soup and don't even have a good recipe for it (though I need to change that). But still, because I can't have it--I suddenly want it more than anything.

Let's talk about something else. Like the title of this post. So the truth is that finally, finally, some of my favorite jeans are starting to fit again. This is a happy thing for me. The problem is that some of my unfavorite jeans are still fitting me. Today, I was checking out my dark jeans (the ones thrown on a pile of other jeans in my closet) and we were having this silent conversation where I kept saying, "Why am I looking at you? Surely you don't still fit me." The jeans don't even have to respond. They know they've already won. So I tried them on--who knows why--and yes, they still fit and are more comfortable than the favorites, so I'm wearing them. And so . . . no cheese soup for me.

Moving on. So, continuing in the spirit of crazy shopping, Jeff and I went to the mall with the kids on Saturday. Let me just tell you that we need to buy a new stroller. I don't know how to describe ours (ghetto would be one way), but it's old and needs to be replaced. But since I rarely have a need for strollers (that would mean I go for walks and things), I keep putting off buying another one. Still, I'm meandering through one of the stores at the mall, pushing that stroller since Jeff immediately offered to take Ashtyn to the playland and leave me to shop, and I'm wondering what that really annoying squeaking sound is. And then I realize it's my stroller. And I can't go one step without this high-pitch squeaking, and people are looking at me because they are annoyed. I don't blame them. I was annoyed before I realized it was my stroller.

I'm desperate, so I try going backward to see if the squeaking stops. It does. But who can go backward at the mall? I realize that doesn't help me. I try pushing down really hard and that helps, but I can only do that for so long so I have to go find Jeff. When I find him, I tell him that we need a new stroller and ours squeaks. He nods and says, "I know. But if you push down really hard, it stops." Good to know.

Thanksgiving and a little bit of crazy

2011-11-25T22:04:00.001-08:00

So, you must know that Thanksgiving just happens to coincide with lots of craziness. I'm talking, of course, about those sleep-deprived shoppers. Isn't it funny that one minute we're all having a spirit of thankfulness for anything and everything--and a couple of hours later we're racing to frantically buy anything and everything? I know. It's neither here nor there. So, yes, I was one of the crazies out there at midnight. I don't know why, but it's fun to be with all the other crazy people for some reason. I left the house just a little before 10:00--thinking I'd hit the stores before things got nuts. Nope. Every parking spot was taken and people were following people in the parking lot to get their shopping carts since there weren't any left inside! I'm happy to say that despite being there in the middle of the frenzy, I didn't buy tons of stuff I didn't need or want. Though I did find myself standing in line for a while before I realized I had no idea what the line was for. Those kinds of moments are to be expected when you're Black Friday shopping, however. I was at Kohl's around midnight and had a handful of things I wanted to get. Until I realized that 20 minutes after opening, the check-out lanes were wrapped around the store! Seriously! I had to abandon ship and just go home at that point.

Jeff had to return something today that wasn't working, and he said that the shopping carts full of returns were shocking. One of the cashiers told him that after buying so much last night, people came back all throughout the day to return stuff that they realized they don't need or can't really afford. I went back out today, but the lines were still crazy until later in the afternoon. I waited in line forever at a store at the outlet mall. One of the ladies behind me was trying to just hand over cash for a pair of socks and take off, but no, she had to wait like the rest of us. And she was not happy.

So, it's been a long day. But it finally feels like the holiday season has arrived. There's Christmas music on the radio, we've had the first round of turkey and dressing, and I've watched Miracle on 34th St. Lovely. I took Ashtyn shopping with me this afternoon. She's a big fan of yogurt-covered pretzels. She'd had some for lunch before we left the house. And she proceeded to tell me over and over while we were out that we really needed to go home and eat more pretzels. She said this with such desperation. Today, my little Ashtyn is thankful for pretzels. We watched Tangled tonight. If you've seen that movie, you know that there's a song they sing about having a dream. Ashtyn was twirling around and singing and then she came over to me and said, "Mommy, what's your dream?"

Before I had time to even think, I scooped her up and told her, "Ashtyn is my dream. You're my dream come true."

Isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about? I think so. I feel doubly blessed this year since we've got our little Lincoln as well as little Miss Ashtyn. :) Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Let's be thankful for all our blessings.

Birthday Parties and Meltdowns

2011-11-20T08:38:00.001-08:00

Here's the thing about birthday parties for children: They are stressful. Hosting and going. I've had a lot of experience with this lately. Now, to be honest, we had a really fun first birthday party for Ash. Which, to me, was important. I mean, everybody has pictures of their child turning one. It's a big deal! But for the past two birthdays, we've just done cupcakes at daycare and a cake and presents at home with family. And that's been fine, too. Much less stressful. As Ashtyn gets older, we'll make a bigger fuss over birthdays because I know they're important and a great opportunity for fun memories.

So lately, we've gone to two birthday parties for Ashtyn's friends. Ashtyn loves parties. She loves birthday cake (she really took after her mother when it comes to icing). She knows the birthday song and loves to sing it. A few weeks ago we went to a birthday party where there was one of those big blow-up things for the kids to jump inside. Extreme fun for Ash. Until I needed to pull her out of it. Then there was a lot of screaming and crying and thrashing about. And me, holding that little screamer, crier, and thrasher as I apologized to the birthday girl's mother and left. And then I turned into a crier on the way home myself. I felt terrible leaving because the family had put together a fun party for their little girl, but my little girl needed to go home.

So there was another birthday party yesterday. This time, Jeff said we'd all go so we could tag team it if there was any thrashing happening. As soon as we got there, the mom had fairy outfits for every little girl to wear. Such a cute idea! You can see Ashtyn above in hers. She wore it all day and looked adorable. Also, there was a unicorn pony ride. I'm serious! So every child had a turn riding a real pony in the backyard. Ash loved it. The mom had craft projects for the kids to do, a pinata--the works. The last thing on the agenda was the cake. I'm thinking this will go well since Ash is a fan of cake.

All the kids sit at the table. I noticed that the dad positioned himself right behind me and Ash with the video camera. Everyone starts to sing--then there's this terrible sound of wailing. Oh, wait. That's my child. Screaming. While the dad is videotaping right behind us. I have to pull Ashtyn away from the table while everyone's singing. Jeff's shaking his head in horror from across the room. I have no idea what was wrong. Ash was just yelling that she wanted to sing. Why she was crying and wailing--I don't know. I can only assume it had something to do with the fact that she needed a nap. Thankfully, this happened at the end of the party, so we were able to pack up and leave afterward. Did I mention that the other mom from the other party was there, too? So, our meltdowns are becoming legendary. Really fabulous.

Mr. Mommy

2011-11-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

So my daughter has started calling me Mr. Mommy. Yes, it's weird, and yes, I have no idea why! She's also calling my husband Mr. Daddy, so at least I'm not alone. I'm always wondering where Ashtyn learns things or what inspires her. Okay, nine times out of ten, I can feel pretty confident that the answer to that question is Dora the Explorer. But still, sometimes she'll just seem to come up with something from who-knows-where and it's adorable. Mr. Mommy is maybe not the most adorable one, but you have to admit, it's a little funny. :)

I'm reminded at least once every day that being a mother is a beautiful thing. There are days that are more frustrating than others. Days where I'm really tired and everything's going wrong. But at least once, every single day, there's a moment where I see Ashtyn or Lincoln, and they smile, or in Ashtyn's case, she says something adorable and sweet--and I know all over again that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. That this phase of life is a good one.

There's something incredibly special about family life. I know this from my own experience as a daughter and sister. And from my experience as a wife, and now, my experiences as a mommy. And what I want for my own children is for them to--one day--look back and feel that their family is one of the very best things in life. And that begins now, here, at the beginning.

The kids and I went to visit a friend of mine today. It was a playdate for the kids and talk date for the moms. :) We were talking about this whole motherhood thing and how half the time it's trial and error and you're just guessing, and my friend said, "If I had known how clueless my parents were..." I know, right?! Growing up, we think they know everything, that they have all the answers. Now, in the thick of it ourselves, we realize that they were just like us, learning as they went along. And if they could do it, we can do it. Motherhood. I'm telling you, it's a beautiful thing.

Life's Delicious Moments

2011-11-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

So, what you're looking at to the right is Jeff's mom's bread pudding. Can I just tell you that before now I had never even tried bread pudding? For some reason, the thought of bread and pudding just didn't mix well to me. I was wrong, though. So while Jeff's mom was in town recently to meet the new addition to our family, she made some of Jeff's favorite foods. One of them being bread pudding. And it really seemed to me like a perfect fall dessert. It's warm with cinnamon and sugar and just feels like something you should eat during October. I told her it was so good that I just had to write about it. You know how some foods are perfect for certain seasons? I love that! Like candy apples around Halloween time. And red, white, and blue trifle cakes during July. And my aunt's cookie cake in December. Well, bread pudding is obviously good any time, but it seems especially appropriate for the fall season.

You know what else I love? Family recipes. The special thing about family recipes is that usually they are recipes that lots of people love, but each family will have something unique that makes their recipe, well, their's. I think that's fabulous. You'll hear someone say something about their grandmother's special recipe or their mom's secret ingredient. I love how food is such a great aspect of family life. I love my grandmother's cornbread dressing. My aunt's chocolate pie. My mom's enchiladas. My mother-in-law's lemon bars.

So I was thinking I'd share one of my favorite fall recipes with you. Now, it's not a great secret, family recipe, :) but it's really good and has become sort of a tradition at my house during the holiday season. I highly recommend you try it!

Pumpkin Dip with Ginger Cookies

1 8 oz cream cheese

1 large can of pumpkin pie mix (not canned pumpkin)

2 cups of powdered sugar

cinnamon to taste

1/2 tsp ginger

Mix the cream cheese and spices together first, then add in pumpkin pie mix, then sugar. Serve with ginger cookies!

So, what are some of your favorite foods?

Candy Corn Days

2011-10-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I'm on a diet.

Sort of.

I'm not someone who thinks diets are cool. But if you've just had a baby (like me), you might just find yourself on one, too. But how on earth do you reconcile this when there are bags of candy corn on the grocery store shelves? And when candy corn is one of those things that makes you truly happy? All I can think to do is to avoid the store and to try not to think about it. Having a baby is a fabulous, wonderful thing. But even so, there are things you have to deal with afterward. Like sleep deprivation and dieting. I know there are some women who just magically go back to their original size right after their baby is born. I'm not in that magical category unfortunately.

It's a difficult time.

Along with candy corn, pumpkins are everywhere these days! I love it! Today, Sara and I took Ashtyn and Lincoln to buy a pumpkin. I felt like we were smack-dab in a Berenstain Bear book. So much fun. Last weekend, Jeff and I and the kiddos took a drive up to Evergreen, Colorado, just to enjoy the fall colors. Also, so much fun. However, Ashtyn is currently in a never-stop-talking-no-matter-what phase. I'm sort of hoping this phase ends soon. Today, I tried to teach her that whispering is the coolest thing ever and I want us to do more of it. That lasted for about one minute.

Well, I'm about to be a working-outside-the-home mom again. My maternity leave is officially over and I'm an editor again. Diving back into book projects and such. I wondered how I'd feel when the time came to go back, and honestly, I feel ready. I haven't missed work at all (of course!) while I've been home with my Lincoln. I've loved being home and just concentrating on getting to know my little guy. But I really love my job and the thought of being back feels fine to me.

Alright, all this talk about candy corn is making me want sugar, so it's probably best if I go watch Criminal Minds or Law and Order or something. I need a distraction. :) I hope all of you out there are enjoying the fall season as much as we are over here. There's just something beautiful about seeing leaves change color and feeling like we're shifting into something new.

Sweatpants and Other Things

2011-10-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the thing. I've been home on maternity leave for about six weeks now. Being home with my kids is great. But sometimes being home can make you a little crazy. And, as so many moms know, you can reach a point where getting dressed for the day actually only means putting on your nicer sweatpants. Let's just say I know a girl who finds herself at that place very often. (Her name rhymes with candy.) But still, there's something really nice about waking up on a very cold morning and knowing you don't have anywhere you have to be. Of course, you also know that Dora the Explorer is going to be in your future--so there's that.

Jeff and I are still getting used to this whole "family of four" thing. It's kind of surreal to be sitting together on the sofa with two kids in between us now. It was just us--and then these other little adorable beings just showed up. :) But it's work and these days are long. I had forgotten how much work infants can be. And how tired a person can feel. Linc's starting to sleep a little less during the day. And whatever he needs, of course I'm there. Ash definitely needs a little more attention these days (picture her saying "Mommy" approximately 50 times every half hour). So I'm pulled in all kinds of directions. Ah yes. The life of a mother.

Goodbyes and Good Songs

2011-09-20T11:35:00.000-07:00

I'm a little sad today. My mom left this morning. She's been out here with us for a few weeks, helping out while we adjust to life with two kiddos. It's been nice having her here. You know how goodbyes are. Even if they're not sad--they kind of are. And this one was for me. Actually, anytime I have to say goodbye to my family, it's hard. But part of what makes it hard is also what makes me feel lucky. I know I'm lucky to have a family that I love so much. When I think about my parents and my sisters and my husband and my extended family--I just love the feeling that we belong to each other. I think that's what family should feel like.

So, now that we're trying to find our rhythm in this new stage of life, I told Jeff that I've got to find time to write again. And when I start wanting to write, I start looking for music that inspires me. I'm kind of hooked on this song Poison and Wine at the moment so I thought I'd share it on here. :) Enjoy!

Lincoln Everett Bruce Has Arrived!

2011-09-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

Our little guy has arrived! Yay! We are so thrilled. Despite the fact that we felt sure he would come early, our due date of August 26th came and went without any action. We were scheduled to be induced on the 29th, but I was really hopeful the baby would come on his own. My mom and I walked and walked on Friday, the 26th, hoping that might help things move along. We were all so anxious and ready for Lincoln to arrive.

I woke up about 2:15 Sunday morning and realized that my water had broken. Okay, this is really happening, I thought. I was having contractions as Jeff and I drove to the hospital. We were admitted at about 3:00 in the morning. There's just something so exciting about a baby being born. I was nervous, of course, and scared. I mean, labor and delivery are not the funnest things you can do. But still, knowing that the baby was coming was just so exciting. Lincoln was born at 9:13 am on August 28th. He was 8 lbs and 13 oz! Much bigger than we expected. He’s absolutely gorgeous and we’re crazy about him.

Ashtyn met him that night and her reaction to him was just adorable. She kissed him and wanted to hold him. So sweet. I can’t believe we’re now a family of four! Wow! Jeff and I feel so very blessed.

Anticipation

2011-08-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Well, still no baby yet. And I've definitely reached the point where something's gotta give soon. I'd forgotten how uncomfortable it is to be 9 months pregnant. My mom arrives tomorrow and that is a great comfort to me. Jeff has been so supportive and helpful and that's been a great comfort to me too. It's been a busy few weeks. And to be honest, I've had a lot of emotional stress and anxiety the closer we've come to delivery. Of course, there's the excitement and anticipation, too. It's all jumbled together somehow. I'm ready to meet Lincoln. But I know how blessed I've been to carry him with me all these months. And when there are no more kicks or flutters, it'll feel a little strange to me. But I can't wait to see him and hold him. So much anticipation.

I've had friends and relatives send me texts and emails, offering encouragement and just asking how I'm doing, and I can't tell you how much that means to me. We've also received so many sweet baby gifts for Lincoln. I really appreciate the support. It makes all the difference when people show you how much they care and let you know that they're there for you. So, thank you to our sweet family and friends. We love you and appreciate you.

I've been thinking a lot lately about when my sister Laura was born. I remember my mom waking me up and telling me it was time to go to the hospital. My mom always tells my sisters and me that we come from good stock. :) To be honest, I think Sara and Laura and I would all say that our mom is much tougher than we are. But I remember how my mom looked that morning and I remember exactly what she was wearing. She looked so pretty and excited and she just calmly said it was time. I remember her holding her purse and walking into the hospital with a smile on her face. And I keep thinking that I want to have that sense of peace and excitement that she had when Laura was born. Because it really is a miracle and the joy that comes with a new baby is something so amazing. I know I won't be as calm as my mom was. And I probably won't look as together as she did, but I will be coming home with a little miracle of my own, just like she did. And that's something so incredible and something I am so, so grateful for.

Hopefully my next post will be an announcement that Lincoln has arrived! Stay tuned!

2011-08-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! Well, we’re less than three weeks out from baby’s due date, and honestly, I don’t think we’re going to make it till then. I have a feeling this little guy is going to show up early. I keep wondering, Will today be the day? While I still have a lot to do before he arrives, I’m okay with the idea of Lincoln coming early. I’m just so excited to meet him! We’ve had the baby shower, the nursery is finally ready–I think most of the important stuff is taken care of. There’s still the terror of delivery, of course. For me, that’s not going anywhere until it’s over. My boss asked me if I’ve reached that point where I’m just ready to have the baby. In some ways, I guess. But in other ways–how can you be ready to be traumatized? Some of you moms are out there smiling, thinking, It’ll be fine. It’s not that bad. I tell myself that on a regular basis. All I know is that somehow this little swimmer inside of me has to get from point A to point B. I’ve survived it once; I know I will again. That doesn’t seem to help make it less scary for me, for some reason. I try not to think about it too much. I concentrate more on how great it will be once I have Lincoln in my arms. That’s the part that I’m looking forward to.

As you know, we had my sister Laura out here with us for two weeks, which was just so much fun. She took pregnancy pictures for us while she was visiting. She did this before we had Ashtyn, too. So the picture you’re seeing up top is one that Laura took. Speaking of Ashtyn, she’s turning 3 soon. I cannot believe I have a 3-year-old daughter! Time is going by so fast.
I’m starting to understand how time seems to triple in speed when you have kids. We went to a BBQ yesterday with a bunch of friends we first met through a small group we were a part of a few years back. When we all met, I think there was only one baby in the group. Sitting yesterday with all the girls, I just looked out over the backyard at the kids running all over the place. And two of us are currently pregnant again. I think if we tallied up all the kids, we’re close to 10 now. It’s like a daycare center when we’re all together! It seems like so long ago when we first met. It’s hard to remember what it was like back then, pre-kids. I think the most hilarious moment we had yesterday was realizing that one of the little girls has taken to calling her parents “Ma” and “Pa.” They’ve been watching one of the Little House on the Prairie seasons and the little girl is totally into it, and now calls Mel and Jason Ma and Pa. Hearing her yell out, “Ma!” was just so cute and hilarious. (I think her parents are hoping this is just a short phase. )

One of my friends and fellow bloggers (who just recently had her second baby) wrote a great post a while back about the parenting things she wants to do differently this second time around. Her post really made me think about what I will do differently. Here’s something about me, though: I can hardly remember what I did when it comes to those early months with Ash. I try to write things down or I’ll definitely forget. So I’ve forgotten tons. But there are a few things Jeff and I feel sure about: 1) We’re not going to let Lincoln have a pacifier until he’s 3 (like Ashtyn). After the first few months, once we’re past the fear of SIDS, we’re taking away the paci. 2) I’m going to try breastfeeding and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work; and there you have it. 3) Again, we’re going to do this parenting thing at our own pace and enjoy it as much as we can. And 4) I’m going to remind myself to always tell pregnant women that they look wonderful and encourage them rather than make them feel even more enormous.

So, we’re at that point where baby could literally come any time. I’ll keep you posted!

Losing Things

2011-07-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

So, you know that feeling of losing something? A few weeks ago we were cleaning out the garage for a garage sale and I stumbled across an old photo that I thought was lost forever. I was beyond happy to find it.

Then I lost it again.

Unbelievable, I know. I’ve been berating myself for days and trying like mad to remember what I did with it, but to no avail. It’s gone again. I had it for a few minutes, and now it’s gone again. How is that even possible? I’ve searched high and low and it’s absolutely nowhere to be found. I’d come to terms with this fact a really long time ago, when I realized it was gone forever. But then I had this spark of unexpected happiness when I saw it again. And for the life of me, I can’t remember what I did with it. I was in the middle of going through stuff for the garage sale . . . and what else can I say? I have no idea where it went. I’m trying to let go of the frustration, but obviously–I’m still frustrated.

I try not to usually let things like this get to me. Most things are replaceable. A DVD gets scratched–you can buy a new one. You spill something on a favorite book–Amazon is there for you. I once lost one of my favorite sandals at a writers conference. I got home and unpacked and only had one sandal. Very devastating, but I got over it. But this was a really old picture that wasn’t saved on the computer. Not the worst thing in the world, but certainly not replaceable.

So what things can you live without and what things are absolutely irreplaceable? People are irreplaceable, obviously. And in some cases (stuff like old photos), things are irreplaceable. Family heirlooms are irreplaceable. I have a special tea set from my grandmother that is absolutely precious to me. It’s irreplaceable. But mostly, when I think of irreplaceable things in my life–I think of people.

Still, it irks me to no end that I found that photo and then lost it again. Seriously. Annoying. Today I told myself that I have to let this go. I was fine for years, when it was lost before. I’ll be fine without it again. But do you understand that horrible feeling of having lost something? It can make you crazy. All right, moving on.

Today was a sister day. Sara and I went to lunch (I was craving queso like you wouldn’t believe), then we went shopping. Then I came home and finally got to watch that movie about JK Rowling on Lifetime. I’m telling you, JK Rowling’s fairytale story is just so inspiring. I am so inspired by her. Sara and I were book shopping today and talking about building up our personal libraries. Ever since Jeff and I moved into our new house, I’ve been trying to fill these great bookshelves in our office. But I ended up taking out a lot of books that I have that don’t mean anything to me. I decided that I want a library that has books that are special to me, or that I feel are important or helpful for me to have. So I currently have a box of books for Goodwill. Meanwhile, I’m working on this library of mine. I borrow most books I read from the library, but there are some books that I really think I need to have for my own library. So–if you were doing the same thing, tell me, what books would be must-haves for your library? I really want to know. Here are just a few of the books that will be staying on my bookshelves: Harry Potter series, Twilight series, Christy Miller series, Glenbrooke series, The O’Malley series, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Great Expectations, When Heaven is Silent, No Wonder They Call Him Savior, Anne of Green Gables, lots of books by Ann Rinaldi, Traveling Mercies, A Family Apart, Charlotte’s Web, Woe Is I, Uglies, If I Stay, Chateau of Echoes, The Shunning, The Little Prince, What to Expect When You’re Expecting–that’s just the beginning. I’m still working on it.It’s an ongoing project, and I have to tell you, I seriously like this project. Buying books? Yes, please.