The New Me . . . (She Yawns A Lot)

Loveys, there's something different about me.

It's evident in the way I'm eating 24 hours a day. I'm tired 24 hours a day. And I cry sometimes.

You guessed it.

Baby number three is on the way. We were hoping for this so it wasn't a surprise. I'm due in March and that makes me happy. March was my Mimi's month. And Sara's birthday is late March. March will be the perfect time for celebrating a new life in our family. (Mimi would have loved that the new baby will share her birthday month.)

We've just recently told the kids, and that's been interesting and hilarious. Ashtyn told me yesterday that God told her that we're having a girl. Lincoln started crying and said, "For real, we're having a brother." Oh dear. I tried to change the topic and said that we'll have to pick a name for the baby. Ashtyn immediately said, "I want to call her Twinkle Toes!" Lincoln then stated that we were naming him "Bo Bo." Oh dear again.

But other than that, the kids are thrilled at the thought of a new baby. Lincoln kisses my tummy. Tonight we were in the bathroom getting ready for bed, and Ashtyn broke into giggles at the sight of my stomach. She said: "I love your tummy! Soon you won't have a lap!" Ha ha ha. Mommy is not really laughing. I feel like I look a million months pregnant when I'm actually only 11 weeks. Jeff says not to worry about it. What can I do? I am literally hungry from the moment I wake up until . . . well, it's 9:38 p.m. and I'm wishing I could go downstairs and eat my third bowl of cereal today.

So, I'm thinking that when my strict nurse practitioner told me I am only allowed to gain about 25 pounds (that was right before she frowned while reading my chart and told me how much I gained on the last two pregnancies), she was not really hitting the mark.

Loveys, I am not in the skinny season. I must be okay with this. This is the growing season, or so I keep telling myself. Jeff shrugs and says, "Don't worry about it! You're eating for two." Hm. It feels like I'm eating for five. I'm nauseous when I'm hungry. Eating seems to be the only thing that helps.

Not the skinny season. If that's where you are, cool. But remember that I'm in the growing season and I'm probably thinking about a sandwich.

Last night, right before we went to sleep, Jeff asked me what I was thinking about. My answer? Breakfast.

Anyway, so in the midst of my first trimester, we held Ashtyn's birthday party, got her in first grade, we packed up and cleaned our rental and moved to a new house (all without the help of my mother this time). This means that I'm very tired. And I don't live well in chaos, as you know, so even with being tired, we're unpacking and trying to settle in as quickly as possible (which isn't all that fast). And I'm working on a tight deadline so I'm editing away wherever I have free moments.

Loveys, I'll just tell you, it's been a lot the last two and a half months. That last week before closing was brutal. We walked through the house the night before closing and I cried because nothing was ready. We had to push closing back another week because so much still needed to be done.

Emotional rollercoasters, exhaustion, nausea, not enough hours in the day. Excitement over the baby mixed with overwhelmed feelings of all we have to do.

I think the worst has passed however.

We're in the new house. We're finding stuff and getting comfortable. We celebrated Lincoln's birthday at the park near our house (honestly, someone should have warned me about having babies in August--that month is nuts already). My birthday was yesterday. (On the way to school, I asked Ash how old she thought I was. Her answer was 47. Then she asked if I'll be around much longer.)

So there have been birthdays, a new house, a pregnancy--and all that goes with those things. And gosh, what can I say? Blessings, each one. Blessings and love and new spaces to walk through. It's worth every step of the journey. Because it's life and it's good and I'm so thankful. Even on the days where I'm yawning . . . or crying. Still, blessed and loved and not alone. I might need to be reminded of that on the days where I'm feeling frail (which I know there will be more). But I'm sleeping in a house tonight that's filled with love, with my husband and children. That's a dream come true. That's magic and fireflies and happiness.

There's work to do. But I can only do so much. That's okay, I suppose. I'm here. I'll do what I can.

My kids are sleeping in their rooms. There's one more empty room--soon to be filled by the newest Bruce. How wonderful is that. Jeff's asleep next to me (the poor guy is exhausted. He's worked so hard and I'm so proud of him. I'm so lucky to have Jeff). And I'm about to roll over and dream about Frosted Rice Krispies.

Life is filled with yawns and tears and smiles, lovey. And during pregnancy, I can experience all three in the span of forty-five seconds. It's going to be a long seven months to go. Stick with me.



  1. Aww congratulations!! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

  2. Congratulations! Love your little show picture! And eat when you are hungry. It was the only thing that helped the nausea for me too.


Tell me about it! I love hearing from you!