Four Weeks Out

Loveys, I'm four weeks out till delivery. Thank goodness. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this heartburn! Nothing fits anymore. I feel huge. My mother reminded me that this is why God made pregnancy nine months. So that by the end, you're ready to do the impossible.

I took Ash to gymnastics tonight and one of the dads walked in (whom I've never even seen before) and looks at my tummy and says, "You're almost there, aren't you?" Thank you for that observation.

So, here I am, feeling very pregnant at the moment. If you give me a pillow and a moment to myself, I can literally fall asleep within seconds.

Lily's doing somersaults at the moment. I can see the waves on my stomach as she moves. And I know that despite the weariness and discomfort of entering my ninth month of pregnancy, it's a process and the end result is something beautiful. The kids are so excited for the new baby. They can't wait to meet her and they tell me all the time how much they love her.

I had sort of an emotional spill this week. Probably hormones. I just started crying over something small. Maybe that means I'm about to get a little more weepy these last few weeks. Considering how hormonal and emotional my last two pregnancies were, I'm actually very thankful that this pregnancy has been different for me. I can deal with some weepiness here at the end. Four weeks out. Let's hope it goes by fast. I'm ready.

Do you ever look at your life and just wonder how you got where you are? Jeff went to play basketball tonight so I had the kids to myself at bedtime (which is usually a battle but they went down easy tonight!). As I turned out lights and said goodnight and turned on everyone's bedtime music, I couldn't help thinking that pretty soon one more bedroom will have a sleeping baby in it. And I thought to myself, How did I get here? I'm thirty-five. I have all these children. I'm going to be a mother of three. I've been married for twelve years. I've been out of college for more than a decade. I've been a book editor for ten years and I've written four books. I've lived in Colorado for more than ten years. (That still really shocks me!)

Life is full of surprises, isn't it?

Time goes by and we change. Our circumstances change. Our life looks different, perhaps, than we thought. Or maybe it's even more than we hoped for. I read stories and gave kisses and tucked Ash and Linc into bed tonight. I could never have known that they would be mine one day. I could never have known how much I'd love them. I do know that I'll love Lillian just as much. And I can't wait to meet her. There's nothing quite like the blessing of motherhood. I'm grateful, loveys.

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